


I JUST NEED TIME

by Johnas007



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ballum Christmas (Eastenders), M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:55:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22032145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnas007/pseuds/Johnas007
Summary: Feel everything is about Ben at the moment.  Where is Callum?  Following on from Ben and Callum’s meeting on Christmas Eve.
Relationships: Ben Mitchell/Lola Pearce, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

Callum stood there when Ben walked away. He’d thought for a moment Ben was going to admit his feelings. He knew there was something going on with Ben. Knew there was something he was hiding, but he didn’t know how to get him to open up. He heard a car horn and it stirred him out of his thoughts. 

‘Right come on Callum. Time to make a move.’ He muttered to himself. Callum turned and headed towards the station. He’d told Stuart and Rainie he was going to meet up with an army mate, but he’d lied. He just needed to get away. What he’d told Ben was the truth. He was just to get on a train and see where he ended up. He couldn’t stay and see Ben everyday and not be with him. He’d never been a one for Christmas but he’d really thought this year was it. He couldn’t stay and be the one watching from the outside. He couldn’t be here and not be with Ben. 

Callum stood in front of the departures board at Kings Cross. He had no idea where he was headed. He looked to see where the next departures were headed for. There was a train to Scotland leaving in 30 minutes. He didn’t fancy Scotland but he saw there were lots of stops on the way. He could see what he felt like at each destination. 30 minutes gave him enough time to grab some food and drink for the train. 

The train was quieter than he thought it would be. He got a seat with a table and settled himself in. He spent the first hour just sipping from the cans he bought and looking at the photos on his phone. He didn’t look outside and had no idea where he was. He only looked up when the ticket inspector asked to see his ticket. 

‘Heading home for Christmas mate?’ the inspector asked, trying to make conversation. 

‘Na. Just going to see mates.’

‘Well enjoy. Just so know know though, this seat is reserved from Newcastle.’

‘OK. Cheers mate.’ Callum thought that was a sign. Newcastle it is. He seemed to remember Ben and Lola lived in Newcastle before they moved back to Walford.

He went back to looking at his photos. Looking through them he could see how he had changed. The first selfies of him and Ben were always him being shy and hesitant. As time went on Callum was seeing himself relax. He looked happy and looked like life was perfect. There were loads with Lexi. They looked like a family. Despite what Ben said, they looked in love. 

Callum couldn’t believe Ben was prepared to give up on this. Ben had called Callum out for being a chicken the night before his doomed marriage day to Whitney. When Callum had said the same to Ben today he though Ben was going to say something back. He looked like he was going to explain. Callum wasn’t sure he would have listened. He was so mad at Ben. He was devastated and upset but he knew something was going on with Ben. He knew he was pushing him away for a reason. The phone call that interrupted their meeting this morning confirmed his suspicions that it had something to do with Phil. He knew he was going to have to speak to Ben again. He knew that was the only way he’d get the truth. He needed to clear his head though. And he couldn’t do that on the square. He needed time away.

Callum got off the train at Newcastle. He had no idea where he was going to stay. He’d never been to Newcastle before. One thing he did know though as he got off the train was that it was bloody cold. Same country but he felt as if the temperature was a full 5 degrees lower than in London. He followed the flow of people exiting the station. The station appeared a lot nicer than Walford station. High arched ceilings, mini supermarkets and coffee shops. There were even a couple of bars. There were people sitting having drinks waiting for their trains. There were groups of young men and women obviously been out on the town drinking and getting their train home. They appeared to be very merrily drunk. Exchanging banter with the police officers manning the station. It all looked light hearted. The atmosphere was lively but fun. He didn’t feel the tension there was in London.

He wasn’t sure what to do. He needed somewhere to stay tonight. He hadn’t given that any thought when he’d left London in a spur of the moment decision. Completely forgetting it was Christmas Eve. He decided to head towards the information desk to try and get some bearings when his phone beeped. His heart stuttered. Was it Ben? He stopped and dug his phone out his pocket and nearly dropped it when he got jostled from behind. He looked to his side and an automatic apology coming from his lips. He stepped to the side to get out the way of people hustling to their own destinations. He gripped his phone and took a breath before he looked down.


	2. Chapter 2

Lola.

Text message. Actually 4 text messages. They must have all pinged through once he got off the train. The signal on the train had been ropy. 

‘Callum where are you?....’ x

‘Callum I’ve just seen Ben. What’s going on?’

‘Callum. Call me!’ xx

‘Callum. I’m worried. Please ring me.’ Xx

Callum sighed. He assumed Lola knew now. He really didn’t want to ring. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know the answers to the questions he knew she’d ask. But he also knew she was contacting him because she was worried about him. He knew she was as stubborn as Ben and wouldn’t stop messaging him until he called. With a sigh he headed towards the pub that looked the quietest, ordered a bottle and sat at one of the outside tables. After taking a few big mouthfuls he pressed the dial button next to Lola’s name. She must have been sitting glaring at her phone as she picked up after one ring.

‘Callum. Where are you?’ She demanded impatiently. 

‘I’ve just gone away for a few days Lola. A bit of a break.’ he replied, forcing a upbeat smile into his voice. 

‘Don’t lie to me Callum. I know about you and Ben. What happened?’ He could picture her indignation. He could see her standing, hand on her hip, chin out and glaring. Lexi often turned the same pose when she wasn’t getting her own way. God he missed them. 

‘Ben decided he didn’t love me. Told me he didn’t want my love. I should have known better. I pushed him too quickly. He wasn’t ready.’ he replied quietly with a catch in his voice. 

‘Don’t be stupid. Of course he’s ready. Ben loves you. He’s just so dumb and stupid to admit it. He might not say the words out loud but he feels them. ‘

‘He said I don’t belong in his world. I don’t know what he means by that. He just doesn’t want me anymore. He loves the chase but…’  
‘Ben loves you Callum.’ she interrupted. ‘Don’t you ever not believe that. There’s something going on though. Something with Phil. They’re as thick as thieves. He said you don’t belong in his world?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Ben is trying to go straight Callum. I know he is. He’s doing it for you. That’s why I know he loves you. He wants to support you and wanting to join the police. Whatever Phil has roped him into is dodgy. He doesn’t want you involved. I think he’s trying to protect you…’

‘Lola’ Callum interrupts loudly. People around him looked and he realised he’d been shouting. He lowered his voice ‘Lola why does everyone want to protect me? I’m not soft. I’ve been in the army Lola. I’ve been to the frontline in Afghanistan. There’s nothing soft in that. I’ve seen things you will never ever see Lola. I won’t break!’ he ended on a huff.

‘I know you’re not soft Callum. Ben doesn’t think that either. He wants to protect you. Whatever is going on he thinks will effect your application for the police if you stay together!’

‘So he’s making decisions for me now eh? I can make my own decisions Lola. He doesn’t have the right to make decisions on my behalf. Can I not decide things that effect me? God he’s so frustrating at times Lola!’

‘I know that Callum. But that’s Ben. He protects and defends those he loves. And he loves you. His actions over the last few days may not look like it, but he does. This is his way of protecting you. Protecting your future career.’

‘So you’re saying I can’t have both? I can’t have the police AND Ben?’

‘I know that’s what Ben wants, and that’s what he has been trying to do Callum. Whatever is going on with Phil he feels he can’t get out of it. He must think it will effect you. By splitting up you won’t be drawn into it.’

‘Lola, he…’ Callum was interrupted by the tannoy at the station. ‘THIS IS A CUSTOMER ANNOUNCEMENT. THE TRAIN AT PLATFORM 5 IS FOR ALL DESTINATIONS TO EDINBURGH. ANY PASSENGER WANTING TO TRAVEL PLEASE BOARD THE TRAIN. THIS IS THE LAST CALL FOR THE 17.55 TO EDINBURGH.’

‘Callum, where are you?’ Lola demanded curiously. 

‘I told you. I just needed to get away.’ Callum replied, taking the last sip of his bottle and putting it down on the table. One of the pub staff was clearing tables and approached Callum 

‘Is this finished mate? Can I get you another?’ he asked.

‘CALLUM! Where are you?’ Bellowed Lola in his ear when he didn’t reply.

‘Lola, one second.’ He said and looking up at the barman. ‘Please. When you’ve got a minute mate.’ replying with a small smile. 

‘Callum, what have you done? Lola asked him abruptly.

‘What? What do you mean what have I done?’ he asked.  
‘When you said you’d gone away for a few days I assumed you meant you’re still in London. That announcement didn’t sound like London Callum. I can’t believe you’ve done this.’ He could picture her pacing but had no idea why. He could hear her muttering. ‘Callum are you in Newcastle?’ she said abruptly.

‘What? No! Why would you think that..’

‘Don’t lie to me Callum. Do you think I don’t recognise a geordie accent when I hear it. Have you forgotten I lived there for 2 years? You’re in Newcastle aren’t you? How did you get there? Why?’ She was firing question after question at him. He could tell she was getting agitated. 

‘Lola. Calm down. I’m fine. Yes I’m in Newcastle, but I’m OK. I just need to be on my own for a couple of days. I can’t be in Walford at the minute.’

‘But do you know anyone in Newcastle?’ Lola asked.

‘No. I hadn’t planned coming here. I just got on the first train leaving Kings Cross. The seat was free until Newcastle. Thought it was a sign.’ Callum replied with a small laugh.

‘Come home Callum’ Lola said quietly.

‘No Lola, I can’t.’

‘But where will you go? It’s Christmas.’ 

‘I know. I’ll find somewhere to stay. Some dive no doubt’ he said with a rye smile ‘where’s the good bars in Newcastle? I’m going to need drink.’

‘Well there’s a run of gay bars as you turn left out the station. Actually no, Ben’ll…’

‘Ben has no say in where I go now Lola!’ Callum replied abruptly. ‘Look I’ve got to go. Give my love to Lexi. Tell her I love her and enjoy tomorrow.’ and he hung up. He sat there looking around, not having a clue what he was going to do.

**Author's Note:**

> I kept wondering where Callum is, and is he OK? Felt I had to put my thoughts into writing. My very first fiction. Tell me what you think so far.


End file.
